It’s something that’s been coming up for a while. Will Guidara’s book, Unreasonable Hospitality: The Remarkable Power of Giving People More Than They Expect, is inspirational and food for thought, whatever industry you’re in. If you haven’t read it, it’s the idea of going above and beyond, tailoring someone’s experience specifically to them. He talks about the journey at his restaurant, Eleven Madison Park, or EMP. He and his team at EMP find ways to not only give guests an excellent fine dining experience. They give guests a special touch. They pay attention. I mean, close attention. He tells a hot dog story in his book that is a perfect example of unreasonable hospitality. How can a hot dog and fine dining even go together? I’m telling you, you’ve got to read his book to find out. And He has so many examples of what he refers to as “dreamweaving.” It’s inspirational, really. He and his team, over eleven years, took EMP all the way up the ranks to the Best Restaurant in the World in 2017. No small feat.

We have been hearing his concepts in healthcare. And to be sure, it’s something that my coworkers and I had been doing even before we heard of his idea and knew what it was. For us, it could be something as simple as making a special sign with someone’s name on it, and putting it on their chair or in the room when they came in. Or it could be bringing some little gift for them, something little that they said they love. Celebrating a special milestone. Even putting warm blankets on the chair for them, before they come back. For someone who is chronically chilly, to come into the infusion room and have a warm chair already set up for you- that is something very special, especially for someone who is not feeling well, or who is going through a difficult diagnosis.

Where I work, we get to know people. We learn what they like and don’t like. We learn about their hobbies. We hear about their kids, their grandkids, their great-grandkids, their cats, their dogs. We know if they like a pillow under an arm for their IV or if they prefer a warm blanket. (I give everyone a warm blanket :P). Our snack selection is not nearly at the culinary level of Mr. Guidara’s. But when I offer someone a ginger ale on ice, and a bag of cheez-its, I offer it with a flourish and a joke about our fancy coasters (a clean glove).

But when healthcare executives decide to make these concepts a part of their core values, but don’t offer the whole package, it lands short for two major reasons.

First– Healthcare workers are tired. I’m telling you, they are very tired. For anyone who has been in the field for a while, whether it’s nurses, doctors, or support staff, if they’ve been through the pandemic and are still plugging along, I guarantee you they are passionate about their work. That’s why they’re still doing it! But when change after change keeps coming along, and you’re short-staffed once again, or the computers go down, or whatever… when these things keep coming up again and again, and you start hearing comments (half-joking?) like, “I’m not coming back tomorrow,” you know that the staff is stretched thin. They haven’t done the equivalent of what Mr. Guidara talks about- putting your own oxygen mask on first. There isn’t time. But this is essential. Especially in oncology, which is one of the specialties with a high risk for burnout.

Healthcare shares some similarities with the restaurant business. Where I work, in particular, it is very fast-paced (just like restaurants). We work together, helping each other out, taking care of each other’s patients. We know we are doing a great job when people say they like coming to see us. But from what I can see, healthcare providers need to double down on self-care, especially self-care at work. Mr. Guidara talks about people wanting to come to work, like really wanting to be there. People loving what they do. Healthcare providers do love what they do. But there are some definite gaps I see, between being passionate about your career and feeling supported by the healthcare systems. At the very least, there needs to be time for breaks. Not just lunch breaks! Bathroom breaks. Mental health breaks. Time to breathe for literally two minutes. From what I’ve seen in hospitals, there needs to be more staff. Period.

Second– It is different when you can dedicate a person to what he calls “Dreamweaving.” I understand that the entire staff at his restaurant-everyone- had the opportunity to engage in dreamweaving and to give people more than they expected. But it is different when there is someone who is there specifically for that, and funds to make something special happen. In his book, he talks about how he recognized that it would be unreasonable for his already busy staff to be pulled from their work to take time to craft special experiences for guests. He created a new role. The Dreamweaver! There was someone there to help bring these experiences to life. What I think, and this is true for any industry, leaders need to give their teams support. When the higher-ups say, I want you going above and beyond, and they give you the tools to do that, you know they mean business. When they say, I want you going above and beyond, but there are no tools offered, then it is all on the employees. Which doesn’t seem right, to ask them to do that day in and day out, if they’re already stretched thin. I know that every business can’t create a whole new position to be their Dreamweaver. But there needs to be something or someone there to help facilitate that.

All in all, I loved his book. I do love the idea of giving people more than they expect. It really is a gift for the gift-giver as much as the receiver, to offer something special. I don’t know that I’ll ever get to EMP, but I’ve learned a lot from their story. For now, I’ll keep offering my warm blankets and pillows to my patients, and listen to the latest stories they have to tell me, about their grandkids, their dogs, and what they did over the weekend.

Have you read Unreasonable Hospitality? I’d love to hear your thoughts! And if you like what I write, please subscribe. Thanks 🙂